As a mom, I want to offer my kids opportunities and experiences I never had. When I was a mother of one, I thought by opening my daughter up to all different types of activities, programs, camps, etc., she would become well rounded — fearless, knowledgeable, and prepped to take on the world one day. Fast forward eight years, add in three more children and a husband who works nonstop, and I realize that I have inadvertently created a daily nightmare for myself that is next to impossible to conquer! Now, as a mother of four and after a lot of mom guilt (you did it for one, you have to do it for all), I am pulling the plug on over-scheduled and overindulged children.
The Daily Grind
I easily get sucked down the extracurricular rabbit hole. Sure, when the flyer comes home from school, it sounds like a good idea to sign the kids up for an after school club – oh, but it’s the same night as soccer – well…if we leave exactly when the club gets over, change in the car and rush to get to the field, we should be able to squeeze it in… Soon this compiles and becomes the “norm”. From the minute the school bell rings we are rushed. Rushed to get home, get changed, and gather all the necessary paraphernalia for the activities of the evening. I make a quick meal in between school and the first activity of the evening, or hit up a drive through — we eat dinner in the car on the way from one activity to the next. (Yes you heard me right, in the car – fries everywhere, milkshakes spilled-–you name it.) It’s all just icing on the cake of an already frantic evening.
Why Do I Do It?
I just want to give each of my children opportunities to try all kinds of different things – to find their niche. How will they know what they like if they don’t try it all? How will they make high school teams if they don’t start early? But…does it really even matter? I am starting to think that all of this might not even matter. And if it does, do I even care? Am I so burnt out that I don’t even care anymore?!
My kids get tired and crabby – making me crabby and tired! After all, a full day of learning/playing with friends is taxing enough, but then we rush until bedtime with activities galore, getting home just in time to fall asleep and do it all again tomorrow. What about all the good that just hanging out and talking about our day, playing in the backyard, cuddling on the couch, and watching a movie has to offer a kid?
My Take Away
My oldest daughter (now eight-and-a-half) has been through more lessons, taken more class, and preformed more activities than either of us can honestly remember. Sure all of these extras helped her learn to draw better, and be able to read the musical staff, and perfect a cart-wheel, but were they really necessary? NO!
Does this mean as I go forward my kids will cut all ties with activities? Of course not. But last season IS the last season that I will be cramming 10 activities into one week. Finding balance between activities and other enjoyable forms of living is my goal this next school year. Move over crazy activity mom, there’s a new mama in town, and she digs after school play time without having to change into a uniform and rush out the door, uninterrupted family dinners (at the table), and lots and lots of family cuddle time!
Have you ever felt overwhelmed with too many after school activities? Do you limit your kids’ extracurriculars? What are some tips you have to help balance kids activities with the rest of your life?
