As a parent, I have hopes and dreams for my children. I pray for health. I desire them to reach–or at least always aim–for their highest potential. I want success for my children, whatever that means, and I always hope that they are happy. As much as I love being a mom, parenting can be stressful. I am always finding myself wondering if I am screwing them up somehow, or if I’m making the right choices.
The Definition of “Bully”
My oldest son is now almost 6 and just started kindergarten this school year. I remember his first year of pre-school — I remember how shy and sensitive he was. I was so full of worry that he would have trouble making friends. This is a valid concern as a mom. There are few things that are worse than seeing your child emotionally hurting. I always did, and still always do, pray that my children are neither a bully…or bullied.
As I age, I realize more and more that friendship is more about quality than quantity. It’s not realistic to believe that children will be friends with everyone, and we need to realize that it’s totally okay not to be. Not engaging with someone because they don’t “click” with them is not being a bully. Habitually coming after another person with cruel intentions and desiring harm is a bully.
I remember my experience very well. I was in middle school, and as most preteen girl drama is, it was centered around a boy. I remember waking up and making excuses to my parents as to why I didn’t want to go to school. I was petrified that I was going to get beat up or publicly ridiculed in front of my classmates. Seventh grade was not a fun year for me. If I could say something now to my younger self, I would tell her that it gets better. Ironically, the girl and I became friends in high school and we communicate to this day. And, I don’t hold it against her. However, I do know that this is not the case for everyone, and my heart breaks for those who continue to suffer.
The #bekind Movement
Bullying happens in so many forms present day. It happens at school, on social media, and even with adults. I am sure if you live near the Omaha area, you have heard of the #BeKind movement. It was started by the Ralston School District Superintendent, Dr. Mark Adler, and has spread throughout the metro districts with the help of Millard District Superintendent, Jim Sutfin. I love this idea, because as a parent, the more I tell my children not to do something, the more that they want to do it. With this approach, instead of telling kids what they shouldn’t be doing, it simply tells them what they should. It’s simple. Be Kind. It is something that we should all remember as adults.
I tell my children, smiles are free — give them out like candy. One smile could change someone’s life. Don’t be afraid of someone because they are different from you — it’s important to be open to those whose opinions differ from yours. It gives you the opportunity to grow. Not everyone will want to be your friend, and that’s okay (but, it’s not okay to be intentionally cruel). Be Kind! It’s simple, and the easiest way to make an impact.
