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Infertility and Why I Share My Story

“When are you having kids?” The question itself is always well intended and for some may not cause any offense. However, for many, including myself, getting pregnant isn’t as easy as everyone thinks.

After adjusting to married life, my husband and I decided we wanted to try and grow our family. At first it was fun but after trying for six months with only a miscarriage to show for it, I started to wonder “What is wrong?” Month after month we were met with no luck. 

We decided to seek advice from a fertility specialist. We learned that our situation was actually not as uncommon as we thought. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention states 12% of women in the United States, regardless of marital status, age 15-44 have a difficult time conceiving. I went through multiple exams and had several tubes of blood drawn. In short, I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and endometriosis. Fortunately, after one round of treatment we were blessed with our first child. That is the end goal for every couple trying to conceive, right? However, some women try for years both with and without assistance only to experience one heartache after another.

Throughout this process I became hard on myself and fell into an emotional downward spiral. For the most part, I felt alone. I did know some women who experienced infertility but a battle within myself made it difficult to bring up the topic. I constantly wondered if it was OK to talk about it or if they had moved on from that time in their lives.

This is why I share my story. I understand at least an ounce of the pain that comes with disappointment and loss. I share my story with anyone who is interested. Our stories can help us all feel less alone and know it’s OK to seek medical advice and support. Keeping our stories hidden overshadows the fact that infertility is more common than we know. When I learn someone is having a difficult time conceiving, I try to be mindful of how they might be feeling. I find a way to briefly mention that I too was once in a similar situation. It is my hope they see this as an opportunity to ask me anything. They have the opportunity to release their emotions and find support in someone who has also experienced the struggle of infertility.

Wherever the journey may lead, I hope more women continue to share their story in their own time. In turn, I hope more women question themselves less and seek support sooner. 

4 Responses to Infertility and Why I Share My Story

  1. Kassandra
    Kassandra September 1, 2017 at 2:41 pm #

    Thank you so much for sharing your story! I too struggled for 10 years to get pregnant and finally conceived through IVF. It’s important to share our stories to remind women that we are never alone in our struggle.

    • Jacqueline Sanchez
      Jacqueline Sanchez September 2, 2017 at 10:34 pm #

      I complete agree with you, Kassandra! 10 years! I admire you and your husband’s strength!

  2. Tessa September 9, 2017 at 7:38 am #

    It’s so important to get these stories out there. I have many friends who struggled, and the pain of waiting and anticipation was stressful. I’m so happy you were able to expand your family! Thanks for sharing your story, Jacqueline.

  3. Emma October 23, 2017 at 8:19 am #

    I too have PCOS and had trouble conceiving. I had my first daughter 19 years ago, seven years into our marriage. On her first birthday, I found out I had cancer and had to undergo treatment for that. We had our son when our first was seven. I was 36 at the time and thought that I was done having babies. I felt so blessed with the two that we had but still felt like we were missing someone. I longed for another child but with age, thought that it wouldn’t happen. Fortunately we find great clinic where for a nice price I become pregnant again. Being so old, the pregnancy was difficult. We only had a 20% chance of carrying her to term. She came into the world looking very blue and we thought that she would have to have immediate heart surgery, but she picked up and actually got to room in with me at the hospital. A true miracle! She had open heart surgery at 3 1/2 months of age and blossomed afterwards. She has challenges but doesn’t let that stop her. She is now 3 1/2 years old and is cherished beyond belief by the whole family. Know that there is always faith and hope. I remember those feelings of jealousy when I saw my sisters in law pregnant. Forgive yourself for feeling human. You will be in my prayers.