Passionate About the Community
and the Moms Who Live Here

A Mother’s Day Wish

As Mother’s Day approaches once again, I brace myself for the roller coaster of feelings that inevitably come with it. Eleven years ago, after months of preparing for our first child, my husband and I had a beautiful baby girl on Mother’s Day. Sounds perfect, doesn’t it? Until you hear that due to complications sustained during birth, she died in my arms three days later. 

In the years since our loss we have joyously welcomed two more beautiful girls to our family. And for that reason, Mother’s Day causes emotional whiplash on my heart each year. Part of my heart is still (and will always be) wounded from the loss of my first precious child. Part of me re-lives her birth and loss each year. Part of me feels bitterness toward those who don’t have to include a trip to the cemetery in their Mother’s Day plans. Part of me wants to scream at the mothers I hear complaining about things they ‘had to do’ on Mother’s Day. Things like visiting their in-laws, cooking their own food, cleaning something, or losing sleep for their children. Do they not see that the children are the gift? What more does a mother need?

My girls are enough

The other part of me wants to celebrate the blessing of having two healthy children. I want to savor the time snuggling with them in bed on Mother’s Day morning. I want to soak up the joy they have when presenting me with their handmade cards and gifts. I want to hear their stories and laugh at their attempted jokes. I want to record their faces and voices in my head so I have them forever. I want them to know they make their mother so happy and proud that I feel my heart could explode. Most of all, I want them to grow up and know that they are enough.

I am grateful

For these reasons, I approach Mother’s Day like a mother would. I attempt to do it all. I try to honor the gifts of my children, the angel and the living. I think back to that first Mother’s Day, with some sadness, and with a whole lot of gratitude. I am grateful for the three days I had with her. I am grateful for the husband who shared all of this with me (and stayed). I am grateful for the love and support of family and friends who surrounded us. I am grateful for the wonderful tribe of angel moms I have met as a result. I am grateful for the increased capacity for love and compassion with which this experience left me. And most of all, I have so much gratitude for the amazing earthly children I have.

My wish for mothers

As Mother’s Day comes upon us again, my hope would be that mothers would take more time to reflect on the blessings they have and spend less time thinking about what they think they deserve simply because their lives were blessed with children. Specifically, my wish for all on Mother’s Day is to love the mother who has lost a child, love the child who has lost a mother, and love the woman who wanted to become a mother and never had the chance.

Meet the author:

Monica is mom to delightful 8 and 9 year old daughters as well as Anna who would have turned 11 this Mother’s Day.  Monica and her husband Brian enjoy taking advantage of the many family events and attractions in Omaha.  Working as a school psychologist along with being involved in her kids’ school and extracurricular activities keeps Monica busy during the week.  In her free time, Monica enjoys spending time with family and friends, exercising, and being outdoors.

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4 Responses to A Mother’s Day Wish

  1. Joyce Saner May 9, 2018 at 7:22 pm #

    I am fortunate to call Monica my friend. I actually got a card today from her. You see she knows I am struggling this Mothers Day. My beautiful, loving, caring mom passed away 2 months ago. We will be setting her ashes to rest in their final resting place this weekend. I will embrace my new normal this weekend and how I will honor my mom every year from now on. Thank you Monica

    • Tessa May 9, 2018 at 8:32 pm #

      We are so honored that Monica would share her story with us. Thank you for sharing yours as well.

  2. Cristy Vaccaro May 9, 2018 at 9:03 pm #

    I know Monica as a wonderful woman who has been there for my own children through some very rough times in the last 2 years. She has so much compassion for others, what a amazing soul! Truly written from the heart 💜 Much love to you fellow mom!

    • Tessa May 10, 2018 at 5:44 am #

      Thank you, Cristy!