A few days ago, I decided that I wasn’t going to cook dinner so we ordered carry out from Buffalo Wild Wings and I went to pick it up. When I got there, there was still about twenty minutes left to wait for our order, so I went and sat at the bar by myself and enjoyed a drink. I can’t even remember the last time I was truly by myself to just sit and do whatever I wanted without background noise or interference. At first, I felt a little guilty but over the course of those twenty minutes, I began to feel recharged. Those twenty minutes alone without anyone needing or wanting anything from me were amazing.
I have a lot of titles
I’m a wife and a mom. I’m a daughter, sister, aunt, and friend. I’m a home-school teacher. I’m the family schedule coordinator. I’m the menu planner and grocery fetcher. I’m a blogger and a sometimes Sunday School teacher…and so many other things. I love all of my roles, but how often do I get to just be me?
I am lucky to have a husband who carries more than his fair share of the load around the house. He’s also incredibly supportive and encourages me to go out with friends or to run errands without the kids. I often feel guilty when I’m doing things solo. And all of that guilt is internal and it’s put on me by me. Sometimes, you just need a little bit of time to be selfish.
Is it selfish though?
I read an article about ladies who are taking solo trips and my first instinct was that it was pretty selfish to leave your family behind and do something like that. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that moms spend so much of our lives putting everything and everyone else first that selfish is the last thing that most moms get to be.
Most moms go from the minute their eyes open until the moment their head hits the pillow that night. (And let’s be real…our brains keep going for at least 30-40 minutes after our heads hit the pillow most nights). Some of us work outside of the home and then come home and do a full day’s work at home. Some of us stay home with our kids and haven’t gone to the bathroom alone since January 2013. We run to sports practice and dance lessons and we read bedtime stories and balance the budget.
So, I’m giving you permission, fellow moms. Permission to take that girlfriends getaway you’ve been talking about since Baby #1 was in diapers. Permission to take up a new hobby and stick with it! Permission to go to the local bookstore alone and just sit and read. Permission to go sit at the bar of a restaurant while you wait for the dinner that you didn’t want to cook. Permission to just be you without any guilt. Obviously, you don’t need my permission, but here it is. Take time for yourself and I promise your job, your partner, and even your kids will be okay. I fully believe that making yourself a priority from time to time makes you a better mother.