Daycare Series:: Daycare Partnership

Your relationship with your daycare should be a partnership. A partnership that works together to enhance and support your child’s learning. My partnership with my boys’ daycare has been evolving with time. Our partnership has involved breast milk policies, potty-training tactics, curriculum expectations, and much more. This partnership approach has served our family well. Here are a few specific examples of how we have navigated parental anxiety and children’s behavior issues. 

worksheet elliot
art avery
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toys avery

Ask questions, be curious, and request updates from daycare

I have found that it is much easier to ask for guidance and for clarity than to assume.  While daycares are structured and communicative, they sometimes forget the parent’s perspective.  I found this to be especially true when my boys started in the Pre-K room.  On their monthly calendar I noticed that one day that month they would have show and share and on another day they had cold lunch day. These were new to me and I wanted to make sure I was within the realm of expectations—so I asked. I opened up my daycare app and sent a message to the lead teacher. 

“First time Pre-K mom here and I have a few questions. I would like more guidance on the upcoming cold lunch day. Beside the obvious food allergies in the classroom are their any restrictions on what we bring? It has been like 100 years since I was in elementary school, and even then I was always a hot lunch kid! I understand one of the outcomes of this special day is for the kids to gain independence but my little guys are definitely not at the independence level of opening their own string cheese. I can’t imagine the teachers are going to want to open every apple sauce, juice box, and goldfish bag? Please let me know how I might avoid sending the teachers over the edge while still allowing my boys to have a fun cold lunch day.”

My questions were not only answered, but also actually sparked a Pre-K wide message to parents about the learning that happens at cold lunch day and the ways we as parents can prepare ourselves, our children, and their lunches. If I had this question, the odds are other parents did too. 

Be an advocate for your child and expect daycare to be an ally

Combining and uniting with your daycare can be mutually beneficial. For my kids who spend nearly ten hours a day at daycare, it is imperative that we are all on the same page. Challenges at home most likely are apparent while he is at daycare, and if we are able to address these challenges consistently while at daycare and follow through while at home, the likelihood for success is much greater. Recently we were struggling with perseverance and follow through. At home we were focusing on words of affirmation and encouragement. We would set small goals and celebrate the achievements. I realized that at school he was probably behaving similarly so I reached out to his teacher. 

daycare partnership

“Good morning!  I wanted to reach out and express some concerns I have about my son. We have been working on developing his independence and ability to persevere through tasks rather than giving up or expecting someone else to do it for him. Are you noticing a similar behavior at school? Maybe during clean up or curriculum time (writing his name). I thought it might be helpful if we were on the same page with tactics and tools to help him get through this challenge both at school and at home. Avery is in a pretty fixed mindset and it’s for sure not due to his aptitude, but rather I think it is due to no one asking him to stretch his ability and supporting him when he reaches or exceeds expectations.  I know we have been focusing a lot on the negative behavior and are trying to switch to one-on-one affirmation. Being an identical twin has instilled an innate amount of brother competition and we’ve noticed he is not externally motivated (like his brother) but prefers a silent smile, a thumbs up, a quick whisper ‘way to go.’
What are your thoughts? Do you think we could work together on this?

I have found that teachers generally like swapping tools and tactics with parents as it typically makes their day go more smoothly when everyone is on the same page. Children love consistency and thrive when rules, rewards, and implementation are laid out. 

How do you partner with your childcare provider? 

Rebekah
Becka is an Iowa native who moved to Omaha in June 2015. She is one half of a higher education couple, a mom to identical twin boys (Avery and Elliot 2014) and two sassy wiener dogs (Nora and Knox). Becka enjoys the craziness of twins and the unpredictability of each day. Even with three degrees, most recently a doctorate in higher education, she continues to find herself googling things like “pachycephalosaurus + herbivore” or “excavator vs digger.” With two very energetic and curious preschoolers at home Becka enjoys the peacefulness of her daily commute to Lincoln where she is a coordinator in the Nebraska Business Honors Academy. Becka loves being outdoors in her garden, on the lake with her family, or sitting on the patio with a friend. Her kryptonite is diet coke, peanut m&m’s and a kid free Target trip.