Passionate About the Community
and the Moms Who Live Here

Believe Me: A New Mom’s Take On These Common Words

“Believe Me.”

I never would have thought these two words could possibly make me cringe. In all fairness to those two words, they are usually accompanied by one particular phrase that I would be happy to never hear again. 

“Oh, don’t look forward to (‘xyz’ milestone) because of (‘xyz’ inconvenience that comes with it).”

The literal words are more akin to “Believe me. Once she starts (insert milestone here), you’ll have your hands full.”  When you are a new mom, this phrase follows you almost as much as your little one does. In some form or another. Those comments come from a good place, so I aways just laugh it off. My exasperation is reserved for my own personal thoughts. It is just lighthearted conversation. There isn’t any way for them to know that it bothers me, so I say nothing. Nevertheless, in my mind I am kicking them into a playground ball-pit, 300-style.

For clarification’s sake, most of my irritation comes from the fact that everyone says it. Like if you have ever worked at a cash register. Every sweet old man says “I just made it this morning,” after handing you a large bill.  Or a favorite song ruined by hearing it too many times. New Mom | Believe Me


Believe Me

I’m fully aware of the fact that babies can be a handful. My daughter’s thirst for exploration is nearly impossible to contain, like most babies on the move. It brings me joy to see her completely motivated to learn something new and I am her biggest champion when she conquers those objectives. So during quick conversation about her accomplishments and milestones, the challenges are the furthest thing from my mind.

It is common for acquaintances to use this as a simple way to relate to me. I won’t dismiss them, I know that their intention is not to complain. It is merely a way to keep the conversation flowing. I understand this. That is why my politeness won’t falter because of my own annoyance to these words.   
I just want other parents to understand that every day my baby is closer to never being a baby again. I have little patience for any attempt to dull my spark or my joy. Babies take work and effort. Believe me, I have been thoroughly warned. There are so many wonderful things we could talk about. It puzzles me that the only thing some people can find to relate to us comes in the form of a lighthearted complaint.

No one says “I bet you’re looking forward to Christmas! Well just wait, once Christmas comes, you’ll have your hands full cleaning up wrapping paper! Believe me!” It sounds silly when you think about it that way, right? 


If you feel like switching things up:

I would love to listen to fun anecdotes that you want to share about your family. What are some of the specific “hands full” stories that you are looking back and laughing at? How old were your children were when they went through their own milestones? Can you offer suggestions about fun things that we could do together? These are the kinds of things that this new mom wants to hear.  

,

5 Responses to Believe Me: A New Mom’s Take On These Common Words

  1. angela July 3, 2017 at 7:28 am #

    Thank you for validating how I feel. I had 4 boys within 4.5 yrs and when ‘Boy, you have your hands full’ all I heard was ‘You are failing. I can see it!’ It would hit me like a bullet every time I went to any store, from the front door by the shopping carts, all the way through, & back out to the parking lot. It took months of avoiding public places and friends telling me otherwise to curb that over used comment. I just wanted people would say ‘Wow! Look at you with those little ones! You are doing great!’

  2. Erika Hanna
    Erika Hanna July 3, 2017 at 9:22 am #

    Yes! I totally agree. It is similar to “oh just wait!” Even before baby was here I had numerous “just wait” comments. “Just wait until the morning sickness kicks in!” “Just wait until you can’t see you feet!” It is a silly expression but I even had to stop myself from saying it!

  3. Maka July 3, 2017 at 10:48 am #

    300-style! That sealed the deal for me! I just HAD to read to the end of this post!!!

    This phrase kills me a little bit inside each time… I, like you, LOVE watching my boys explore, learn, discover, and experience. I live in the moment – the here and now – and I’m sad that tomorrow comes when my guys are closer to needing me less and less.

    So, thanks for making me feel less alone! I’m so glad there are moms who feel as I do!!!

  4. Halie
    Halie July 3, 2017 at 4:16 pm #

    Thanks for the commenrs, guys! I was nervous about my first post, but you guys made me feel validated in those feelings, as well!

  5. Tessa July 4, 2017 at 7:46 am #

    Yes! This was something that frustrated me when my kids were very young. Now that my oldest is almost 12, I can attest to them growing in a blink of an eye. My pet peeve back in the day was when I’d hear people say, “Young parents have no idea how fast this will go.” I wanted to turn around and say, “Yes, I think about it every hour, lady.” 🙂 Thanks for your post!